You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
