Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish you could order shots online.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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