Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
