He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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