is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
