new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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