I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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