Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
