Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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