Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
