There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
