I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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