how can u be prego again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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