There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
