I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I need to stop coming to work sober
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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