last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
