it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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