"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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