Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
