why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
