Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
