He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i now understand why vodka
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
