We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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