I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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