We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
