last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
