no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
