I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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