if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
