He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
