no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
