Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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