I want to stick my p in your. b.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
