In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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