ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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