Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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