Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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