His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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