The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
