She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
