If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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