Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
