Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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