I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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