Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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