hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
