we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
