And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
