Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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