Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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