i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
