Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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