I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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