Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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