why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
