11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
